August seems to have flown by, rushing through as though it didn't want to be noticed but as it leaves I think, "there goes summer". September always brings things like school, a breather before the holidays and fall. The start of color, shorter days and cooler weather, hopefully. I have done so much this summer, more than I can remember doing since before Jenn's accident, I feel like my life is slowly evolving again. I haven't had much time to call my own or do what I want since 2000, but this summer seemed to have been filled with pockets of time to call my own. I find that its hard to know how to feel, I know that Jenn both suffers and benefits from my little selfish diversions. I know I need a life too, yet I can't help but feel guilty that because she is totally dependent on me for most things, if I am not there, she has to wait or go without. Its never very serious, just sad. So in that lies the guilty feelings I get at night when I think of the things I didn't do for her today because I was doing something for me. Ohhhh, how did I get off on this, enough, just stop...... someone slap me. OK to move on...
I have been painting pastels and another trip to my moms, so special, that time together. We all had a great time, we picked, canned and ate blackberry jam. Picked and canned pesto, went wine tasting at all the local vineyards, and collected glass from Glass beach! I took hundreds of pictures and have lots of good stuff to paint. I will post soon. My mom is amazing, and although she is in pain she never stops. Jennifer spent afternoons with her in the garden, enjoying all my moms hard work.
I finished my bird pastel I started in class, and finished another one that I entered into a pastel show. LOL Its not good enough to get in but it made me get myself out there. I need the deadlines. I am trying to fit it all in, I want every second of time to be stuffed with life!
